There is nothing in this world that I care less about than where you hang that poster.
“I don’t want to give you my name because then you’ll sign me up for a corporate mailing list. Does this tin-foil hat make me look crazy?”
I’ll turn down the music when you ladies turn down your goddamned knitting circle.
If you’re old enough to buy coffee then you’re old enough to hear the word “f*ck” in a song without it ruining your entire day.
My rent is gonna be a few days late but I found this sweet pamphlet in the tip jar about how to find Jesus, so like, whatevz.