I’m smiling, aren’t I? I think that’s enough of a Halloween costume.
“I meant to ask for this to be iced.” — Well, i meant to go to grad school and do something fulfilling with my life. So…Oops, i guess?
I just watched a 45-year old construction worker order a pumpkin spice latte, take one sip and instantly turn into a white lady in yoga pants. This stuff really is magical.
“I’ve literally been waiting 20 minutes for my drink.” — No, you haven’t. And you apparently don’t understand how time or language works.
I’ve never been committed to a mental hospital, but i have sat at a table in a Safeway Starbucks.
We’re both on the same team… You want your coffee quickly, and I want you to leave as soon as possible.
F*ck you I won’t do whatcha tell me!
…Unless you pay me $10, in which case I’ll apparently do what you tell me for like an hour.