“Don’t spend it all in one place” is one of those classic jokes that never gets old. It still makes me want to cry every time.
“If you break this dollar I’ll be able to give you a tip”
If only there was some kind of sign I could hang in the window to tell you that we’re closed…
“I’m sorry to be picky but…” — Lemme just stop you right there. No, you are not.
I asked him what size he wanted, and he replied that he wasn’t in the mood to answer questions. There’s no joke here, that just happened.
You came here to offer career advice? At 2 pm? On a Wednesday?
It’s almost like you waited in that long line just to show me pictures of your kids. Oh, wait, there’s video too? Yay.
Whatever drink you order will be announced loudly to a cafe full of people, probably multiple times. Choose wisely.
Have you looked at the bottom of that mug you brought in from your car? What do you want me to rinse it with? A flamethrower?
The wifi password is “espresso.” If you can’t spell that, or find the correct spelling somewhere in the store, you aren’t allowed online.