To the lady who phones a friend to find out her coffee order…are you sure you want to use one of your life-lines on this?
We don’t have flavored creamer because this isn’t a waiting room at JiffyLube.
When people ask me how old the coffee is, I never know if they want me to lie or if they want to stand there for the next five minutes.
I had to teach a lady how to use a toaster today. So, there’s that.
Here’s my phone number… that way you can actually be talking to me when you’re on your phone while ordering.
I didn’t mean to offend you, but you said “expresso”, so I figured we were just kinda saying whatever the f*ck we wanted.
“Can you break a hundred dollar bill?” is code for, “don’t expect a tip.”
My boss won’t let me put a giant neon arrow over the tip jar. He says it’d be tacky. But you should just imagine it’s there anyways.
“This latte is beautiful, how did you get so good at this?” – Give up on life, become desperate for rent money, then wait five years.
Sometimes we run out of things, so it’s probably best not to base the success of your day around scone availability.